Paying Better Attention

I'm discovering that finding my voice as an artist has less to do with inventing something new and more to do with recognizing what has been there all along.

Well, we are entering the final week of the Creative Visionary Program. Week 12.

And, just as I expected, the last two weeks have certainly been the most difficult.

Up until week 9, everything we were doing was fairly specific. Now we are moving into work that is more personal while also trying to keep in mind everything we’ve learned in the previous weeks. It’s a lot of paying attention. And still trying to keep spontaneity and play on the table. Thinking and not thinking.

I have three panels that I’m working on for my “series.” Really, this is just a process of working on three panels at once. I love that because if you get bored, get stuck, or the paint simply needs to dry, you can move on to something else. I can definitely see the value in working this way.

Initially, I had something very specific in mind for this series and that is still something I plan to explore. However, this particular series has gone in a different direction.

It started abstractly. There have been many changes along the way. Then I added my hand and eventually decided to make this about Mountain Pose, or Tadasana. I incorporated a road, or perhaps a path, into the landscape. Leading to or from the mountain.

Mountain Pose is a foundational standing posture in yoga. It feels strong, powerful, and still.

I’m a little stuck at this stage. A little immobilized. The rest of the group is continuing on and now we’re at week 12. Meanwhile, I feel like I’m still in week 10.

It’s okay.

At the end of last week, I decided to move on to a painting that I’ve been stuck on for several months. I’ve painted over this one again and again. The swimming pig.

But now that I’ve been through this coursework, I have a better sense of how to approach it. I feel less afraid. I feel more confident. And it’s finally starting to come together for me.

It’s still in progress as of today, but it’s really close to being done.

One thing I did this week, as a direct result of CVP, was take a serious look at who I am as an artist. So far, this is what I’m discovering:

• I’m a simplifier.

• I’m painting the feeling.

• I’m attracted to atmosphere.

My goal is for the work to be:

• quiet

• contemplative

• peaceful

• slightly playful

Nothing is frantic.

I’m trying to find emotional truth over visual truth. I’m not asking, “Does this look exactly like a pig?”

I’m asking, “What does delight look like if it were a pig in water?”

I think I’m starting to see my values as an artist emerging. Of course, they were always there, but now I feel like I’m paying better attention.

I want to explore that in more detail.

This week I’ll go back to the Tadasana series. And I’ll just keep going. I’ll paint over what needs painting over.